home. puking in laundry basket.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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