College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
