I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
