So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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