Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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