I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
