i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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