Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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