either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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