now i know why i became what i already was.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize