How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
