Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
