It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
