$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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