had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
