My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
