If i come over, it means nothing
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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