could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
