he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
