well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
