I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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