you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
