I just threw up on my dentist
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
