i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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