if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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