Small penises have feelings too.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
