I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
