plz talk dirty to me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
