I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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