just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
