hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
