No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
