I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
