I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
