paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize