come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
