so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
