I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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