Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
