This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
