# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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