No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
