the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
