that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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