Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
