He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she pinky promised me she was 18
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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