his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
