Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
