my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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