I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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