you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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