Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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