And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
