sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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