What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
