Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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