how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
