Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
