At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
why is half of my head shaved?
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