Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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