why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize