walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
