There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
