I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
