Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just saw a hot homeless man
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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