Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
