You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
