the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
