Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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